"In the sun... now that's a good song"
"Who's it by"
"Joseph Arthur... it reminds me of Taru"
"No Renovatio, you're a good song" she called out with her doting smile as she got out of the car.
Now there's the sister I wish I had over this lifetime... unfortunately the circumstances at which she adopted me as her big little brother I'd prefer not to have had. Her sister, Tara, my ex, got hit by a truck in Sidney, and she died on the spot. I've been taken up as a sort of replacement sibling, younger, but still treated by this naive bundling joyful soon-to-be 26 year old as a big brother she's always looked up to. It's been a bit over a month, but I'm already chalked out to meet her boyfriend of 6 years to approve or disapprove of this guy she plans to get engaged to soon. She's already spent an evening with me at Fortis while I waited to hear about my uncle whose appendix burst. She's already kept my mind empty through some of the most frustrating, lonely days, put me to sleep by singing to me.
She calls me her Hairy Butt Bear, and that's because my face is hairy and my butt is cute... so she says
And she does all that because she loves her sister and loves me because her sister loved me.
This one goes out to Tara... Neets and I miss you Taru, and we wish you were around to hang out with us... I drive now... so you won't have to :)
I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy
And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen
And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in
May gods love be with you
Always
May gods love be with you
I know I would apologize if I could see your eyes
cause when you showed me myself I became someone else
But I was caught in between all you wish for and all you need
I picture you fast asleep
A nightmare comes
You cant keep awake
May gods love be with you
Always
May gods love be with you
cause if I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find
If I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find
You
I dont know anymore
What its for
Im not even sure
If there is anyone who is in the sun
Will you help me to understand
cause I been caught in between all I wish for and all I need
Maybe youre not even sure what its for
Any more than me
May gods love be with you
Always
May gods love be with you
About me...
- Renovatio
- Delhi, Bombay, India
- Oh bloody hell, I had something truly deep and pretentious to write here, but it decided to evade me at the last moment. It probably had something to do with transformers or something; the power kind, not the shape-changing variant. Oh and I happen to enjoy writing in a small font, especially on a background color contrasting almost completely with the font color. Muahahahahaha et al. And ad nauseum too. Not nausea, mind you. Ooh, that rhymed.
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25 comments:
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i'm sorry for the tragedy that's affected all of you. your sibling relationship sounds lovely though am not too sure about your nick. :)
i love that song. love it. spent an entire month listening to it, and nothing else. and sorry for what happened - almost did to me too. almost lost him to cancer and now he's okay and not mine. heh. never was.
i didnt cal him that hedonistic, i figure hes tryin to be anonymous on dis blog
hey babe, now whyre u countin, u were the 1 who told me that u never count, u only give an hope its enuf. i dont blame taru for lovin u so much. u make it easy to love u, cuz ur so damn sweet, an i know how hard it wuz for u to call me that, u hate the nickname :p
oh an bhaskars dyin to meet u, he wants to meet my big baby to :p
anyway, cal me wen u can, ur fones sayin invalid number. i wana know the blood test result as soon as u get it.
oh an as far as cute butt goes, u ought to bring it out sometime ;p
u my sweety hairy butt bear, an i need a bearhug :D
love u :)
hey carebear, where u run of to, stil cant get through on your phone, it stil says invalid number :(
just spoke to ankit, he sed he wasnt wid u, an he also told me u wer havin some trouble breathin? wat hap? im really worried abt u :(
call me soon, and u betta meet me soon, its been 4 days since i saw u :((
miss u, singin iris alone sucks :'(
an anki, u hav no idea how beautiful a person my babe is, i dunno how id get thru this widout him, he da best! :)
Really beautiful man...
It doesnt happen often in life, but believe me when I say I know exactly how you feel, Ive had a very starkly similar experience several years back and I know how painful yet strangly comforting these things can be...
Just do your best and try and do right and thats all you can do anyway.
cheers..
p.s.:dude, you really need to get her to give youva better nick..!
Sorry man, and lady, I just don't get the whole 'sister' thing from the way she writes. I just get the feeling that she feels a lot more for you than you think she does.
Other than that, the sentiments are beautiful, and I can think of no better song to remember someone you've lost by. Be there for each other through this difficult time, but be clear as to what you mean to each other, you don't want misunderstandings ahead.
And Miss Neets, the nick they've all been on about wasn't Renovatio, it was the hairy bottom one. Shows the kind of man he is if he puts up with it. Well the caring he has for you at the very least, no one can get pussy-whipped by a lady that sounds like you ;)
Excuse the biggot that came out in that message, I meant you seem too sweet to pussy-whip our dear Renovatio.
oh u had to go dere. no, we r both quite clear abt what we mean to each other.
hes a 1 woman man anyway, and da town is riddled with ex's and random chicks dying to be that 1, knowing well that spots already taken.
jst da other day we were in priya with these 2 frends of his, an he saw someone an looked away real quick, so 1 of his frends asks if thats yet another ex of his, really sceptically. he tells him her name, vrinda, an those 2 frends of his walk past an call out her name, jst 2 c if its really her. unfortunately she decided 2 cum ovr 2 us, quite literally sprinting ovr, n refused to leave until my bear introduced all of us n gav her a rundown of his life ovr da last few months.
needless 2 say he wasnt 2 thrilled.
What can I say, he's your quintessential wanted man, with every woman after him but the one he wants.
I could almost say it's good to see you writing again Renovatio, but it's been over two weeks and you haven't even been here to reply to all your comments.
Eagerly awaiting some more from you my friend.
jst so u know, this is the only 1 im on. im hurt that u wud think it was me. please dont let her mess with ur life anymore, get back whats urs.
love u :(
n i swear 2 god yet another. if ur her, im comin for u.
My apologies my lady, I'm afraid I don't know what you mean. I'm certainly not Her, and as far as being any other 'her', I'm afraid that just wouldn't be possible. 'Him' perhaps, but certainly not 'her'.
Have I missed something?
@wiseling
To the point I see :p
@hobo
It's all about bowing down to the higher powers. If my butt hath been labeled cute, than cute it shall forever be known as. But you're right, the hairy bit can be misunderstood.
@scout
Hey, at least he had you.
@anki
Aww, thanks, you don't think this post makes my butt look big? :b
@neeti-bum-chum
Candy cane dipped in honey and smothered in sugar... with a cherry on top. Forever you shall be, as shall be everything you write. Just throw in the walnut or two for my sake... The drama on this seems to have escalated a bit beyond what I'd initially imagined, so let's cut back on that now.
@dude
That's all I can do, you're absolutely right.
@yet another
Now you seem to have taken a personal interest in me and mine, and you speak with inside knowledge that leaves me wondering as to your identity. Do I know you?
Seems I've found you online at last. Does this mean you're going to be blogging more?
As far as knowing you, I don't, I've just learned to read between the lines.
I'm a 34 year old slugging it at ndtv, and reading about you stepping into the same sphere of journalism has certainly sparked my interest. I'm just waiting to see how you turn out, providing what little insights I can.
Perhaps I ought not to provide relationship advice, considering I've been divorced myself, but hey, when it comes to love and commenting on love, isn't everyone allowed to have an opinion?
hey, dats actually really sweet of u :)
I try lady, I try.
And Renovatio, seems you're not the hot favorite anymore...
Of course hes a favorite, but wait, what favorite do u mean. Or rather who's.
You catch on quick dear lady... Let's just say, he doesn't even mention her, not directly. She mentioned him directly but not what he represented. And now he's not so admired by her.
Just another one, suffering like the rest...
I don't know what you're all on about, and I don't want to know. This has gone on long enough. No more drama.
Enough.
then start posting again!!!!!
Yes, do write more. It's almost been a month now.
I admire you, I really do. You have my thanks for what you did. Whatever happens hereon, I have your back. I'm watching, and I'm seeing, and I see that the sky's the limit. Just get back your lady. She's confused, and you're the only one who'll give her clarity.
i try to be.. why mess with superfluous words when they only seem inadequate?
btw... you're comments page is proving to be quite an interesting read in itself... :)
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